Being a confident woman isn’t something that comes naturally for most people. However, the good news is confidence is something that can be learned!
Confidence is a state of mind. In this post, we will cover small steps and habits you can do starting implementing today to build up your level of confidence and step out as the confident woman you desire to be in your life and business!
What Does it Mean to Be a Confident Woman
According to this dictionary, confidence can be defined as a “belief in oneself, and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence.” Confidence shows forth in a woman when they are comfortable in their own skin, they’re positive and kind to others, not needing to judge or insult others to feel better about themselves.
It’s important to note that confidence does not always belong to the loudest, best-looking, or richest person in the room. Many confident people tend to be quieter and live a simpler life as they have nothing to prove to others. Having confidence means you don’t need to be the center of attention or seek validation from the external world or social media.
Confidence is an attractive quality that’s much less expensive than a designer dress or flashy purse. Confidence helps you to connect with others better, express yourself with more clarity, and supports you in achieving your goals and dreams. In general, confidence is a quality that all around leads us to better mental health and more fulfillment in life.
Like building any muscle, you have to keep at it with daily exercise for growth to happen over time. Stay consistent and keep showing up, and you will become a more confident woman.
31 Habits of a Confident Women
1. She Spends Time with Herself
Spending time alone is one of the best ways to connect with yourself and build confidence. True confidence comes from “believing in oneself.” It’s important to take time to discern what you like and don’t like without the influence of others. Alone time is also a great time for reflection, self-care, and personal growth.
I believe there is also something said about building confidence in venturing out on your own, without a friend or partner. Whether it’s being able to dine alone in a restaurant or doing some solo traveling, it takes a lot of confidence (and courage) to venture out to do things on your own.
2. She Prioritizes Self-Care
Self-care has become a hot phrase recently for a good reason. Self-care is really about taking care of your own needs to operate at your best. Self-care is an act of self-love. By getting to know yourself, you also get to know what you need to operate at your best. When your needs are taken care of, you can show up with more confidence.
3. She Invests in Herself
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is to invest in your personal growth. Personal growth is an opportunity to improve parts of yourself you may feel are holding you back in life. Personal growth is likely exactly what you are doing right now, spending time learning about parts of you that you want to improve, such as reading about how to be a more confident woman. Investing time and money into your personal growth helps you make changes to parts of your life that you want to change. As you make those changes and implement new healthy habits, they will only help boost your confidence.
4. She Lives with Purpose
Taking time to get clear on your purpose in life helps instill confidence and motivation to show up as your best self each day. By purpose, I’m talking about the central motivating aims in your life today, and if you don’t know yet, that’s ok. Not everyone is clear on their purpose in life. However, confident women take time to discover and get to know their purpose, what motivates them, what gets them up and moving each day. Your purpose can vary by day and year. You may even feel a connected purpose to several areas of your life or just one. Some people find purpose in caring for others, in their career, in being of service to others, or in their connection to their religious or spiritual beliefs.
In reflecting on your purpose, note what your gifts are to the world and others.
Are you caring, helpful, creative, inventive, loyal?
What makes you happy or feel fulfilled?
How do you contribute to the world being a better place?
These don’t have to be huge things like curing cancer. A confident woman finds purpose in the seemingly small things such as fostering an animal, leading a team at work, having a devotion to her faith, caring for a family member or friends. Believing in your value to the world and others is where confidence comes from.
5. She Practices Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is crucial in boosting confidence. Whether it is an acceptance of your own abilities, body, talents, weaknesses, or just your life situation coming to peace and finding acceptance allows you to release any shame or other emotions that might weigh you down and cause negative self-talk. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses also allows you to know where your time is best spent and when to hire help or delegate tasks to others.
6. She Has Clear Morals and Values in Life
Knowing your morals and values in life helps steer decisions and how you live your life. Confidence is about having integrity that is guided by what you believe and value to be true. The more grounded you are in your values, the stronger you can stand, and the strength in what you believe is confidence.
7. She Creates a Foundation for Financial Security
A confident woman takes steps to learn about and manage her money. Feeling confident about earning money, managing money, and having a safety net supports a confident woman in taking responsible risks and having the freedom to make decisions in her life and business that are best for her. Money provides people with security and a sense of power or some control over what happens in their lives. If you have a financial safety net, you feel more empowered to take risks, take a day off to rest, or enjoy life! If you are living paycheck to paycheck or reliant on others such as parents or a partner for money, you can feel dependent on them, that they have control over your life. When a confidant woman is in a partnership, she does not relinquish all financial matters to her partner. Instead, she considers herself an equal in all financial matters.
8. She Manages Stress
We all feel stress, and stress can actually be healthy and keep us motivated and growing. A confident woman learns how best to manage her stress rather than letting it overwhelm her or run her life.
9. She Manages Her Emotions
While some people may think confidence means you have to always stay cool and calm, it’s really more about knowing how to manage your emotions. Being in tune with your feelings and learning to express them responsibly and appropriately can actually bring you closer to others. For example, if something a friend or partner does is upsetting to you, get in touch with what is really bothering you and why and find the courage to talk about it in a calm and appropriate way. Too often, as women, we can allow our emotions to build up, which build up over time and can come out in ways that we don’t feel good about or may even have regrets about how we handled our emotions.
A great way to get in better touch with your emotions is by writing in a journal; often, getting them on paper helps you reflect and see things more clearly.
10. She Steps out of Her Comfort Zone
Being a confident woman means you are willing to try new things and get out of your comfort zone. Discomfort is often the place in which we make the most growth in our lives. Staying in your comfort zone can keep you stuck in life and limit the opportunities that come your way. Good things are more likely to come our way when we are willing to step out into the unknown.
11. She Has Clear Goals
She knows what she wants in life and what makes her happy. Having goals is not just about career goals; it’s about the lifestyle you want to live, the people you want in your life, the dreams you want to make a reality. Goals can encompass all areas of your life, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
12. She Takes Action
Being clear on what her goals are in life is the first part, and taking action on those goals each day is what makes them a reality. She believes her goals are possible and creates action plans to achieve them. A confident woman also gets real with herself when she’s not taking action and reflects on what is holding her back. She doesn’t allow herself to stay stuck, even if it means taking a chance and possibly even failing forward. She knows forward motion is the only way to go.
13. She Asks for Help
A confident woman knows she is not perfect and is willing to ask for help and advice when she needs it. Being able to ask for help comes from knowing your strengths and weakness as well as your limits or when you can shift into a place of overwhelm. A confidant woman can show her vulnerabilities and doesn’t feel the need to do it all herself, and that it doesn’t make her any less by asking for help or support.
14. She Has Boundaries
A confident woman has boundaries and knows her limits. She knows when things can become too much, how many social obligations or work commitments she can handle without going overwhelmed. Boundaries also include how she is treated by others, how her time is spent and not spent, what she will tolerate from others, and what she won’t. Boundaries can take practice for many women in learning to stand in their strength and use their voice, both of which come from developing self-love and self-confidence over time along with the act of practicing using their voice in new ways to express their boundaries.
15. She Says No
Learning to use the word “No” can be an incredibly empowering experience. Women all too often can be people-pleasers, saying yes to helping others or doing things for them, even when they know it is not in their best interest. If you are not used to saying no to others when they ask or invite you to do things, it can take a bit of some self pep-talk to start. But once you learn how to say no, you’ll learn how empowering and freeing it can be to take care of yourself rather than others.
16. She Honors Her Fear and Does it Anyway
We all feel fear. The difference is confident people do it scared. They are willing to take a chance, and they are willing to fail. You don’t get anywhere in life without taking chances.
17. She Makes Eye Contact
Eye contact and body language are nonverbal cues as to how confident someone is feeling. Eye contact tells someone they are paying attention, and they are willing to be seen.
Body language can be another nonverbal indicator of how confident you are feeling. In fact, I’ve also found that being mindful of my body language, such as walking taller with my shoulders back actually helps boost my confidence. Give it a try the next time you’re out on a walk. Try to walk a bit taller and bring your shoulders back; notice if you feel any differently.
18. She Has a Positive Outlook
Optimism boosts confidence. As you think about others you know, who makes you feel better about yourself- someone who is optimistic or pessimistic? A great way to cultivate a more positive outlook in life is to develop a gratitude practice. You can do this by simply jotting down three things you are grateful for at the start or the end of the day. Seeing the seemingly little things in life from a place of gratitude is a simple yet wonderful way to brighten your outlook on everyday life.
19. She Honors the Negative Self-Talk
The truth is regardless of how confident someone is, we are all human. We all have good days and bad days. Some of us have more negative self-talk than others; however, most of us have at least some. What separates a confident woman is that she says I hear you, but I’m not going to let myself go down the rabbit hole of negativity in how I feel about myself. The confidant woman has tools such as EFT tapping, gratitude practice, or affirmations that can get her back on track when negative self-talk arises.
20. She Has a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is about continuing to learn and grow, regardless of how smart, educated, or accomplished you might be. Having a growth mindset is a willingness to strengthen various skills and parts of yourself by continuing to read, attend workshops, listen to podcasts, and have thoughtful conversations with others.
21. She Fuels Her Mind
Cultivating a positive outlook and positive mindset is tough to sustain without daily brain fuel. A confident woman dives into positive things that will fuel her mind. These may be an inspirational workout, a motivational podcast, or a book conversing with a mentor. Her goal is to keep her mind fueled, inspired, and motivated.
22. She Listens
A confident woman is also a learner and able to hold space for others to listen to others rather than always speaking. She doesn’t need to speak to feel validation from others. In fact, over time, a confident woman can gauge when the best time to speak to command the attention of others.
23. She Releases Judgments
A confident woman does her best to release the judgments of others, knowing everyone is doing the best they can. She doesn’t need to judge others or talk bad about them to feel better about herself, knowing that insulting others only shows a lack of confidence in herself.
A confident woman can step back and look at things from the perspective of another and empathize with what others are going through. She tries to see the best in others and to help support others rather than tear them down.
24. She is Happy and Supportive of Others Success
Being confident in yourself means you can be happy for others as well without feeling jealous or mad. Being supportive of others is a way of honoring that we are not in competition or racing each other but that we each have our own journeys in life that are unique to us. Supporting others puts positive energy out into the world, which can support you in achieving your desires and goals.
25. She Isn’t Torn Down By Others
A confident woman learns not to take things so personally that not everyone is going to be her biggest fan. She knows she can’t control how others think or feel, but she does have control over is how she feels about herself. It’s not to say a confident woman won’t be hurt by others’ words or actions. It’s that she can cultivate her resiliency and recover. She can see her own beauty and talents regardless of what others think or say.
26. She Cultivates Resiliency
The reality is we are all faced with challenges, stress, and difficult times in life. Resiliency is the ability to keep getting up despite the challenges, grief, and pain that you are going through. However, resiliency is not about pushing through, numbing, or ignoring the pain. It’s about honoring and healing the pain and then choosing to get back up rather than allowing the pain to keep her down. It takes a strong woman to get back up and move forward with confidence after a difficult time.
27. She Knows Who She Is
Confidence comes from believing in yourself. You have to know who you are, what your strengths are, and what you like and don’t like your values to step out as your authentic, confident self. Getting to know yourself is something that comes in time, by spending time with yourself, discovering your true self, and taking care of yourself. The more you get to know yourself, the more confidence will develop.
28. She Has a Support System
Having a support system can include friends, co-workers, family, animals, faith, and spiritual practices. It’s much easier to step out in confidence, take risks stand-alone if at the end of the day you know you have a support system to lean back on, to embrace you unconditionally. You don’t have to have the biggest support system to develop confidence, but you do need to feel that you are supported in life unconditionally by someone or something.
29. She Cultivates Self-Love
At the end of the day, all these confidence habits are really about cultivating self-love. One of the most attractive and tell-tale signs of a confident woman is a woman who loves herself. Self-love comes from many of the skills mentioned in this blog post, along with taking time to connect with her heart and practice gratitude for all your gifts and talents she has, she focuses on her good qualities and accepts herself fully, including accepting any perceived “flaws” in fact she may even embrace them or have fun with them.
30. She’s Willing to Stand Alone
Being confident isn’t always easy. Staying true to who you are, honoring your values and authentic self sometimes means you may think or act differently than others. The more confident you are in being alone in general, the easier it will become to stand alone or make a decision that doesn’t go along with the rest of the group.
31. She Acts Confident
The truth is not everyone is as confident as they appear. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just “fake it ’til you make it.” Walk tall, show up with a confident attitude, challenge yourself to listen more, say no to being overbooked even when it’s hard. Acting confident will help you become more confident.
Becoming a confident woman doesn’t have to take a long time. Make each of these 31 habits of a confidant woman a focus for one to two weeks, and you can have unshakable confidence in a year or less!
Depending on where you are at in your journey, it may take some time and consistent practice to develop new habits that will support you in becoming the confident person you desire to be. Make each day is about progress, not perfection. Focus on the small steps and creating healthy habits each day that support you.
Taking time to grow your confidence can help support you in every area of your life, from your career to your mental health, to how you interact with family and others, and will likely enhance any romantic relationship.
Karla Kueber is a Certified Evidence Based EFT Practioner and Health Coach with a background in Energy Medicine and a double Masters Degree in Education. She works with people to, heal trauma, overcome their past and use it to fuel their future. You can learn more about her own healing journey here.